Category Archives: The Main Course

Revolutionary Rice

Hunt's and rice ad 1950s

As depressing and 1950s-suburban as a Richard Yates novel – it’s what’s for dinner on Revolutionary Road. In only 18 minutes (otherwise known as “pronto”) you too can have this tomato-laden mess on the table.

Soggy precooked rice, canned tomato sauce and a little ingenuity is all it takes. Well…maybe not so much ingenuity. You could probably skip that.

I do have a technical question though. A rhetorical question, because it is not like I want to actually make this stuff. However: if it is Minute Rice, how come it takes 18 minutes? According to my calculations it does not take 17 minutes to open a can.

Well, not unless you’ve been having the sort of cocktail hour that they have in Revolutionary Road, that is.

(P.S. I recommend this novel! It is an amazing book. But very depressing, of course. It is being made into a movie with, I think, Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in the main roles, and I am looking forward to seeing it.)

Dinner With Hitchcock

Sportsmen's dinner BHG ca 1960

Sportsmen's dinner BHG ca 1960 text

The ducks will have their revenge. The ducks are angry. And they are clever enough to hatch a little plot to show the sportsmen the errors of their ways.  A tasty game feast indeed!

Try eating your dinner with this avenging bird looming just over your plate! Can’t be done. Mission accomplished, ducks. Here we have a Sportsmans’ Dinner from a 1960 Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. The sportsmen seem to have spilled cigarette ash all over the table. And the duck is also not pleased with that.

I don’t think I could concentrate or even drink a glass of water with that duck glaring at me, could you?

Alfred Hitchcock is probably giving this dinner. It is a prequel to The Birds (1963), of course. Next time he had better serve that quiche of his.

Dinner With Hitchcock

Sportsmen's dinner BHG ca 1960

Sportsmen's dinner BHG ca 1960 text

The ducks will have their revenge. The ducks are angry. And they are clever enough to hatch a little plot to show the sportsmen the errors of their ways. A tasty game feast indeed!

Try eating your dinner with this avenging bird looming just over your plate! Can’t be done. Mission accomplished, ducks. Here we have a Sportsmans’ Dinner from a 1960 Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. The sportsmen seem to have spilled cigarette ash all over the table. And the duck is also not pleased with that.

I don’t think I could concentrate or even drink a glass of water with that duck glaring at me, could you?

Alfred Hitchcock is probably giving this dinner. It is a prequel to The Birds (1963), of course. Next time he had better serve that quiche of his.

Hot Waffles, Summer in the City

LHJ 1946 ads Duff's Waffles

When I think of warm weather – which around these parts is a euphemism for really, really hot weather – I think about things like iced tea. And the air conditioning. And how the ice cream truck keeps playing “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic” over and over, can’t they find a new song?

But what does not spring to mind is a waffle.

According to Duff’s Waffle Mix, this is ridiculous. Who doesn’t think of a nice hot waffle zipping out of the waffle iron and onto your preheated plate in the middle of summer? In fact, you probably should be eating waffles three times a day. In the morning, certainly. That goes without saying. But then you can have a dinner waffle with bacon, tomato and “creamy rarebit sauce” (cheese sauce, that is, for the less-fanciful diner). And waffles with fruit salad, that could be dessert!

I am surprised that they did not suggest a waffle sandwich at midday. PB and J waffles. Tuna salad on a waffle! Waffleburgers at barbecues! Waffles waffles waffles!

Why not make an Eiffel Tower of waffles. A waffle Eiffel. And then say it five times fast.

Eat this many and you might feel awffle! 

Ad is from the Ladies’ Home Journal, 1946. It occurs to me that the Bossy Griddle may be related to the Duffs. What is this obsession with people eating only one kind of breakfast food, forever?

Instant Coffee Karma

Maxwell House cookbook cover 1965

Instant coffee karma’s gonna get you.

Because there’s coffee, coffee everywhere, but not so much to drink…No, no – to cook with. I love the specialty cookbooks, like this one from my buddy Maxwell House, from 1965. Coffee at every meal, the cover cries in urgent tones (much like me in the morning!). Coffee in everything that you cook! Quickly, quickly, bring more caffeine! And make sure that it is from the House of Maxwell, while you’re at it.

This is the sort of cuisine to make our old friend Mr. Caffein Nerves twitch with emotion.

Yes, there are the usual recipes for flavored coffees and there are lots of cakey things (coffee cakes and cakes with coffee in them, et cetera) but there are also rather – surprising recipes. Prepare to be amazed! For example:

COFFEE-LEMON SALAD DRESSING

1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup confectioner’s sugar
1/4 cup salad oil
1 Tb lemon juice
2 tsps instant quality coffee

Blend ingredients together. Chill thoroughly. Stir and serve with salads of chilled canned or fresh fruit. makes one cup. Creamy version: substitute 1/2 cup mayo for the salad oil and increase lemon juice to 2 Tb.

There are main courses in which you can insert a teaspoonful or two (hey, maybe three!) of instant coffee: spaghetti sauce, barbecued ribs. You can drown your chops in coffee gravy and your shrimp tempura in coffee sweet-and-sour sauce. You can even put it in a fish dish:

FISH BRAZILIA

1 lb fresh flounder or sole fillets
2 tsps quality instant coffee
1 Tb lemon juice
3 Tb salad oil
1/2 tsp onion salt
Lemon slices (optional)
Ripe or stuffed green olives (optional)

Place fish fillets in shallow baking dish. Dissolve instant coffee in lemon juice; combine with oil and salt, mixing thoroughly. Pour coffee mixture over fish and let stand 30 minutes, turning once after about 15 minutes. Broil 3 inches from heat 5 to 7 minutes, or until fish will flake easily with a fork. Garnish with lemon slices and olives. Makes 3 servings.

Why 3 servings? Don’t recipes usually make an even number of servings?

Maybe the cook gets a reprieve. You have to hang around with it in the kitchen, you’ve done enough!

Now I’m going to go get some more coffee. Just regular coffee, thank you. I am not planning to do anything special with it. No “fascinating new flavor” today, thanks.

The Potato Volcano

IMG_0004 The Potato Volcano

Let’s all say that five times fast!

That sure was fun…wasn’t it? Oh, well. Never mind – making and eating the Potato Volcano will be even more fun.

This is from a 1937 home economics text called Foods and Homemaking, by Carlotta C. Greer (who was the Head of the Department of Home Economics at John Hay High School in Cleveland, Ohio, in case you are interested).

It is an “interesting dish” all right: take a pile of mashed potatoes and mush them down in the middle. Then beat up an egg with a teaspoon of water and pour it into the crater. Then you bake the whole thing at 500 degrees until “the points of the potato are browned.” Fill ‘er up with Welsh Rabbit (cheese sauce) and decorate as follows:

When you have completed this interesting dish, the Welsh rabbit will suggest the lava of a volcano; the pimiento, fiery rocks; the sprigs of parsley, the shrubs that dare to grow at the base of this turbulent mountain.

This is very nearly poetry – epic poetry! The shrubs that dare to grow at the base of this turbulent mountain!

I didn’t know that shrubs did dare to do that. Or anything, really. Shrubs are pretty tame and suburban. You won’t see the Knights Who Say Ni doing their landscaping anywhere near a volcano.

Or a potato.Mashed Potato Pie on Foodista

She Should Have Served A Can of Spork and a Fork

IMG Chef Boy-Ar-Dee 1940s

I think that this lady really means: I almost told my husband to get lost.

She is selling War Bonds, it’s not like she’s out buying hats all day, or playing the slot machines in Atlantic City.  So she forgot Bert and his “important customers” coming to dinner! Let Bert take them out, or maybe he could tie on a frilly apron and, how did the guy in yesterday’s ad put it? Rustle some refreshments. Yeah, let Bert rustle.

But no, naturally this poor woman has to go hunt down something to cook. She figures that her whole marriage will collapse if she serves peanut butter sandwiches. Well, I guess they said ‘for richer, for poorer’ but not ‘for gourmet dinner, for Spork Chops.’ (Bonus: if you guessed that I have a 1940s Spork cookbook awaiting future posts, you are right!)

Some couples live meals of quiet desperation, as Thoreau would have said (if he had been one of Bert’s customers, but he wouldn’t have been, these people would have scared him into staying at Walden Pond pretty well permanently). So thank heaven for that Chef Boy-Ar-Dee!

And would you believe these guys think that that stuff is the best spaghetti they ever had! They’re all grinning like idiots in the last picture. Ah, but they always are, aren’t they? And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I adore these ads, they are so cheesy and bizarre.

Rather like Spaghetti à la Hector Boiardi.

Extract of Meat Jingle Contest

IMG_0001 Wilson's B-V ad

OK, here’s the deal. You write the last line of the jingle and you win some fabulous prizes. There are some gorgeous clothes from “your favorite store’ (how do they know which one that is?).

Here are the first three lines of the jingle. (I love how the entry form reminds you “last word to rhyme with ‘stews.’”) Such a touching ode to the wonder that is B-V (“America’s favorite gravy maker and meat flavor”):

In my kitchen, you’ll always see
My faithful jar of Wilson’s B-V
For gravy, soups and savory stews —–

Here are a few ideas:

1. The hell with dinner, what’s the use?

2. B-V is a poor excuse.

3. Don’t you step on my blue suede shoes.

4. And maybe in tomato juice.

5. But not so much in Charlotte Russe.

They are real poets at Wilson – the bottom of the ad reads “The Wilson label protects your table.” Pure literary genius!

Feel free to play along in the comments…After all, there are more than 225 prizes (including “Wilson’s choice canned meat specialties”).

And for more Wilson’s B-V goodness, see Susan’s post on her wonderful blog, Party Meatloaf.

The Formal Picnic

IMG_0001 the formal picnic IMG_0002 formal picnic theatre program

This is a little much, even for 1963. Here we have a “Theater-party Picnic” presented in Better Homes and Gardens’ Barbecues and Picnics. In the smaller photo you can see the theatre program, I couldn’t get it all into the big one. It is a program for “Ravina” - the closest thing I could find to this was the Ravinia Festival in Chicago, which features concerts and theatrical performances. (Why do they already have the program if they’re about to go to the theater?)

I can’t believe that people who are actually going to the theater, who are all dressed up (though really, they look pretty every-day by 1963 standards) are going to “take supper…and enjoy dining on the lawn.” Excuse me, but what lawn would this be? I mean, suppose you were going somewhere off-Broadway. What do you do, spread the plaid blanket out on the sidewalk?

And here’s the menu that you are going to be (a) cooking, (b) setting out on the theatre’s back forty (hah) and (c) cleaning up and stuffing back into the car before the curtain rises:

Chilled Fruit Toddy
Cold Roast Chicken
Assorted Condiments
Curried Picnic Salad
Salt Sticks
Limed Pineapple-in-the-Shell
Cheese and Cracker Tray
Hot Coffee

Oh, plus “flares for a touch of atmosphere” and a candle in a red glass like they had (in plastic netting) in ”fancy” restaurants back in the day. Trying to eat roast chicken and drink hot coffee while attempting to avoid grass stains on the theatre dress - I don’t know about this. It’s risky, is what it is.

And don’t get me started on the flares and the candle. It’s a scenario rich in the possibilities of disaster. I predict a comedy of errors: dramatic grease stains, spilled coffee, burnt fingers, messy condiments everywhere. The dénouement: a mad panic to get everything packed up in time. These people may miss the first act altogether. Which might be for the best, since the production appears to be an amateur one – most professional theatres do not sport a white picket fence.

Even if a young Henry Kissinger (or possibly it is Steve Allen, who might be more the theatre type) does seem to be enjoying the Salt Sticks there in the background. Love those light-blue shoes he has on, they match the jacket. Actually they look like running shoes, don’t they? Where’d he get them in 1963?

The Poetry of Crisco, 1920

IMG Crisco cookbook 1920

A Calendar of Dinners With 615 Recipes (1920), by Marion Harris Neil, was distributed by the Crisco Company. Crisco was first made by Proctor and Gamble in 1911. It is kosher and vegan-friendly, as it is all vegetable. Of course it is also 100% fat, so not exactly a health elixir. Though to read this little book, one might be lulled into thinking that it was. Why, Ms. Neil calls fat “man’s most important food” and Crisco itself is dubbed “this rich, wholesome cream of nutritious food oils in sanitary tins.” That’s pretty nearly poetry in a can.

Oh, sorry – I mean, in a sanitary tin.

After the inexorable march through 600+ Crisco-based recipes, Ms. Neil gives you a menu for every day of the year. I checked up on what we ought to be cooking today, and here’s what you ought to get going on the stove on April 20th:

Celery Soup
Braised Ox-Tongue
Baked Potatoes, Mashed Turnips
Cold Slaw, Cheese, Wafers
Rice Mousse, Coffee

All of the menus are like this, with many dishes. A year of this would be like going to my grandmother’s for Sunday lunch every single day. And not even my dear grandmother - a wonderful cook –  would have wanted to make fancy puddings and soups and roast whatnot day after day.

Note the old-fashioned term “cold slaw,” which is of course what we call ”cole slaw.” Here it says that in England the dish was originally called “cold slaw” but that the later use of “cole” came from the Latin “colis,” meaning cabbage.

I wanted to find the Rice Mousse recipe to share, but Crisco’s “Domestic Scientists” forgot to share it in the book. I found something else in the complex-carb line instead, though not a dessert.

Not surprisingly, the sanitary-tin-wielding Domestic Scientists are especially keen on desserts (though not on Rice Mousse, seemingly). There are lots of good cakes and puddings in here.  But desserts are not all they can test, oh no! I also came across this unusual recipe for a meat-free sausage:

POTATO SAUSAGE

1/2 cupful Crisco
1/4 lb chopped onions
1/2 lb cold boiled mashed potatoes
1/2 lb breadcrumbs
salt and pepper to taste
2 beaten eggs

Mix all ingredients thoroughly well together with wooden spoon, then form into sausages; tie each well in cloth, and boil exactly as a roly-poly. If not to be eaten when newly cooked, put aside, and untie when wanted. This sausage is also good when oatmeal is added instead of breadcrumbs, or it may be made of half oatmeal and half breadcrumbs. Sufficient for twelve sausages.

This is in the “Vegetarian Dishes” section, which implies that a significant number of people were vegetarians in the 1920s. Here is a sensational post at Edwardian Promenade about the history of vegetarianism. I feel fortunate to live in the age of soy sausages, I really do.