Underwear For Arrogant Onions

How’s Your Refrigerator Strategy?

Oh, it’s fine thank you, how’s yours? But really, it doesn’t actually have a strategy, you see. Because it’s an appliance and doesn’t have a brain or anything. So it doesn’t think. And my strategy is to just put stuff in it and keep it clean and – oh yes, and not to anthropomorphize bowls by putting underwear on them.

Pillsbury had other ideas, though. Hence this 1937 ad for oiled-silk refrigerator bowl covers called, if you can believe it – Pantry Panties.

Yes, this really could be the worst named product of the 20th century. Just because the words sound almost alike does not mean that they should ever, ever be put together in the same phrase.

Whoever wrote the ad copy just didn’t think it all through, that’s all. They were so pleased with their odious little phrase that they kind of lost the plot. Why else would you write that PPs are edged with “firm, live elastic” so that your “insistent fish, arrogant onions or riotous cheese” can be contained. This gives rise to all sorts of dreadful images that I am not even going to start on. Ugh.

But maybe they did realize that this was starting to sound weird and gross, because right after that they change the subject and go on and on about Pillsbury Sno Sheen Cake Flour and how amazing your every cake will be if you use it. Oh, and if there’s any cake left over, you know what you can slap on it, don’t you? Just make sure you keep it well away from those arrogant onions – and from the cheese riot going on on the top shelf of the fridge.

The big version is right here, if you really want to know more.

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6 thoughts on “Underwear For Arrogant Onions

  1. Sadly all this advice has arrived too late for me. My veggies have run wild and odious things are invading my fridge even as I type… oh wait, that's just my hubby in his pantry panties (no questions, please).

  2. I need no pantry panties (why does this product sound smutty to me?) in my house. You see, I turn the riotous cheese against the arrogant onions, and let them take care of each other. In the end, there is a little residue on the bottom of the fridge that looks a little like a quesadilla leaked. But just a flick of the dishrag, and even that is gone. Meanwhile, everything else in there is in order, not knowing if and when the next skirmish in the fridge war will break out.

  3. I've actually SEEN these – they show up at our flea market every now and then. The elastic is usually shot but there they be! Nice to know their "official" title. Maybe the next time I see them I'll pick up a pair or two…

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