|Graphic Design Labs (Better Homes and Gardens, 1930)|
Is it past ten before you throw off your listlessness? Does your husband need a second cup of coffee to wake him up? Do the children bicker about what they will eat for breakfast?
My goodness, Battle Creek Health Foods, you must have been peeking in on us this morning. What with all the coffee-pouring and bickering, it’s no wonder I was draped over the laptop until, yes, past ten.
So am I glad that I came across this ad while looking through the fabulous Graphic Design Labs collection today. Until now, I had never heard of the mighty powers of ZO. Who knew that FIG BRAN (so exciting, it must be capitalized!) and something called ZO, put together, formed a breakfast with super powers even more amazing than Superman’s, back in 1930?
ZO itself had figs in it. Zo, zo many figs. It was made of “bran and figs combined with Savita yeast extract.” Plus also there is the to-be-expected yadda yadda about freedom from constipation, in the ad. I will spare you that. We’ve seen enough fruit salt and bran muffin and yeast ads here to know what combining figarific ZO with extra FIG BRAN will do to an unsuspecting, listless, coffee-addled person.
ZO “will send your husband off without a grouch.” It will give you and me both “vim and stamina…till noon.” Wait…huh? Only until noon? At 12:01, am I going to be like Cinderella running (or slumping, in this case) from the ball? Yes, ZO will wear off at high noon and leave me as vimless as a pumpkin the day after Halloween.
But so what. That name is enough to wake me up in the morning: ZO! There should have been a comic book series called ZO. Something that took place in ancient Egypt maybe, with evil yet listless mummies, and lightning bolts – and a superhero called ZO who wears a shiny black cape and a special jewel in the shape of a giant fig. The Legend of ZO needs to be told!