Well, up in Canada they know
How to make evil dandruff go;
On falling hair they have a ban
From St. John’s to Saskachewan
And way out west in far Vancouver
A guy can make some smooth manoeuvre
Without the fear that his toupee
Might fly off to Yellowknife someday.
These lucky old Canadian guys
Have some strange potion or device
That gives them confidence and hair
On heads that once were tundra-bare.
All hail American Sted Pitt
Who though down south, got wind of it!
His friends thank him both night and day
For lovely locks that came to stay.
They do not mind a tumbled bedhead,
Better than baldness is a Sted head.
So steady on, American men
Luxuriant hair will grow again;
Just take that dollar you’ve been savin’
And send it to Sted Pitt in New Haven.
What is Sted’s method, you may ask?
Let’s summarize this simple task:
Just cut a hole in a dollar bill
And stick it on your head at will
No one will notice that you’re bald -
That’s not the first thing you’ll be called.
[This 1931 advertisement is from Modern Mechanix, which is a cornucopia of wonders...]