Dick and Jane are playing tennis. But they are not having any fun. Even though tennis is quite good fun.
What can be the matter?
Oh look. Dick has spotted Beth on the next court. Beth is smiling at the tennis instructor. See Beth’s teeth sparkle in the sunlight!
Dick is really checking out Beth. Boy oh boy, what a smile! Now Dick is smiling too. He does not notice Jane.
Uh oh, Dick. Jane is mad as a wet hen.
Dick is not thinking clearly today. Otherwise he would not say that he finds Beth’s smile quite fetching. No, Dick, no. Jane does not like this sort of conversation.
But Dick blunders on. He suggests that Jane use Dr. West’s Toothpaste. Just like Beth does. Then Jane will have white teeth. Dick thinks that this advice will make Jane happy.
But Jane is not happy. She has had this problem with Dick before. She says: so this time it’s her smile that you admire! Dick is a two-time loser.
Why look at Beth again, Dick? Why, Dick, why? You know that Jane is going to hit you with her tennis racket any second now.
But Dick is enchanted with Dr. West’s Toothpaste. He cannot help himself. Dr.West’s Toothpaste, after all, is Double-Quick.
Just like Jane and her tennis racket.
See Dick duck and run for cover. Run, Dick, run.
[From Ad Access, where there is a bigger version.]
I'll bet back then they could put industrial bleach in toothpaste. Good lord…this reminds me of today where if you don't have your teeth bleached, you're just not with it.___Barbarahttp:ifididnthaveasenseofhumor.blogspot.com
I like your take-down, Lidian. Dick is so "pinned."ref Barbara's comment: what happens to all these good people when the enamel is eaten away?
Great story…
Oh, man, I got nothing for this. Dick is so toast.
Dear Dick is as thick as a Brick Pollitt, isn't he?
I just hate two-timing losers! Jane was right to tell Dick to behave.
Barbara – That sneaky Dr. West could have put anything in there!vanilla – He IS being really obvious.Bill – He really is.ceemee – She has her work cut out for her, but I think she can get him in line, eventually.
Tori – He's toast all right, and toothpaste is not going to help!
Lidian, this might be my favorite one! LOL all the way through it!Tracy
Look Dick, look. Jane punches Dick. Dick needs new teeth! Thanks for the morning chuckle.
You know, the real ad is funnier than the fake one.(wait…that didn't come out QUITE the way I meant it!)
They don't call him Dick for nothing… and what's with the creepy frilly gums on the disembodied mouth at the bottom of the ad? Gaaaahhhh!