Well, is Wednesday an anniversary? Hmmm. Let’s see. Not this one. And not most Wednesdays. Unless you say today’s an anniversary of last Wednesday. That’s true. Is it an excuse for cake and a party? No, not really.
But is it an excuse for a Treatwich?
And what might that be, I hear you ask (I know you’re not really asking, but let’s pretend you are). I believe it’s a sandwich, but involves the following variables:
- “a different kind of bread” (I’ve got two kinds, stale and fresh, which do you think he’d like?)
- “his favorite spread” (I’ve got peanut butter or a bedspread, so let’s go with the former)
- “the meat he likes best” (if you’re a vegetarian, you’re out of luck, no treatwich for you!)
- oh, and lots of plastic processed cheese!
What sort of process goes into this cheese product? Never mind. It has “really rich cheese flavor.” And it has little olive slices for eyes, winking up at you. What a treat. “When lunchtime comes, he’ll get the message!” Ah, the message. What sort of message would that be? let’s do the math:
1. Different Bread + Favorite Spread + Liked Meat Product + Fake Cheese = Treatwich. Please explain why fake cheese is an integral part of this equation, if you can.
2. Wednesday + Treatwich = Anniversary of X. Please determine the nature of X, using your imaginative powers.
3. Now multiply the number of fake cheese slices in the Treatwich to estimate the dimensions of Y, the Expected Anniversary Present.
4. And finally, calculate the number of weeks the Treatwich may be deployed as a gift-inducing scheme. Please show your work.
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