1. No more eating mince pies while perching on a ladder, sonny! You are supposed to be dealing with the Christmas tree. I’m not sure if it’s being decorated or decimated, maybe both, but either way, it’s no time for snacks.
2. No more jolly chats with imaginary cows, even if you are Elwood P. Dowd‘s farmer cousin. And when you meet Elmer, Elsie’s rageball husband, you will see why this is such a good idea. You really don’t want to get into anything with Elmer, believe me.
3. Oh, and maybe you ought to think about a No Silly Suspenders resolution, too. And No White Socks With Black Shoes. And as for those pants…
Yes, all right. That was lightly amusing. (The Elsie ad is from Life, November 22, 1943, by the way.) But what about real resolutions?
Oh, I have some of those. I’ll bet you do, too. Here are just a few of mine:
1. Say, remember NaNoWriMo back in November, says I to myself? Try and think a-l-l-l-l-l-l the way back to November…oh yeah! Mystery novel, Brooklyn, 1890s, Eleanor Grey, Intrepid Girl Detective? Called Frozen Charlotte. (Not Frozen Eleanor, of course, how could she solve a murder mystery if she was frozen?)
How about writing that second draft. Because it really needs some work. Yessiree! A lot of work. A terrible, awful lot of-
2. …Work! Got it.
Moving on. Literally. Because! Got a pedometer for Christmas, to replace the one I lost because it fell off when I was running and it sort of flipped off and by the time I noticed it was too late. Start using the pedometer again. Yes, now. Now! Now!
…Well, not right now, I am writing this. But you know what I mean.
3. Healthy eating, blah blah blah. Not mince pies, obviously. Good thing I don’t even like mince pies.
4. There are probably some other things but I forget what they are. They go here. I think they have to do with managing stress, but can’t really remember. Too stressed, probably.
So there you go…And now if you go over to Nanny Goats In Panties (which is such a terrific, funny blog, you really should pay a visit even if you don’t have any resolutions) – you can join the This Time I Really Mean It challenge.
Please do tell, what are you going to promise to do (or not do) in 2010? At this point, you know, we’re just making the resolutions, we don’t have to actually do anything yet, so it will be fun! And just to get in the mood, we can listen a live version of John Lennon’s yes-I-do/no-I-don’t homage to change, Revolution. Notice how he sings “you can count me out” and then says “in.” I think we all know just what he means.