It’s contest time again!
Downyflake Waffles, whose name is more suitable to wash powder (and best not delve into that too deeply) want you to complete a sycophantic quatrain, and they’re willing to make your pockets jingle with anywhere from $10 to $5000 dollars. That was a lot of money in 1956; my mother’s grocery bill around this time was $10 a week in New York City, so you can translate that into 2009 money. And as for the $5000, it was a year’s grocery money. In other words, it was a whole lot of dough (or waffle batter).
But I don’t like the idea of the jingling pockets too much because this implies that you’re getting the prize money in Downyflake’s leftover change. I guess they went around to everyone in the company asking for loose pennies and nickels. You’d be jingling all right if you won $5000 in pennies, would you not?
So here’s the deal. You’re supposed to finish this little poetic gem:
Frozen Downyflake 1-Minute Waffles
With homemakers really do rate
Wonderfully tasty, so simple to serve….
-You’ll want to eat seven or eight
-They get cold if you leave them too late
-No thank you, I already ate
-That aftertaste soon will abate
-Those downy flakes sure wash clothes great!*
There are some rhymes for rate over here, if you want to give it a bash.
And if you’d like more retro contest amusement, here’s an Old Dutch Cleanser jingle contest and a caption-the-baby-picture contest. The enormous version of the ad is over here; this is from Life, September 24, 1956 (which gave you a couple of months to think of jingles).
*They may not choose this one as part of their advertising campaign, though.
Frozen Downyflake 1-Minute WafflesWith homemakers really do rateWonderfully tasty, so simple to serve….But like eating a freaking lead plate?
"Those downy flakes sure wash clothes great!"I vote for this one!
Frozen Downyflake 1-Minute WafflesWith homemakers really do rateWonderfully tasty, so simple to serve….And crappy poems such as these really hit my last nerve!(yeah, I know we're supposed to rhyme with "rate" but you took all the good "rate" rhymes).
Tracy – I like that very much! And it was probably true, too.Richard – Well, it just makes sense! Like a cross between Ivory soap flakes and Downy fabric softener (yum!)Christine – That has a nice modern/unrhymed ring to it – very Gregory Corso (and I like his stuff a lot)
I remember Downyflake waffles – and if memory serves they were good, if they weren't we wouldn't have eaten them again and again – and I remember jingle contests. I entered quite a few when I was a kid, I think I even won a few.
Even drunk, mom can make a plate?Awaiting their syrupy fate?They will give you a Bigfoot gait?
Frozen Downyflake 1-Minute WafflesWith homemakers really do rateWonderfully tasty, so simple to serve…."Not long in the bathroom you'll wait!"
"If you're not eating WHAM, you're not eating ham!"Oh, wait. I was suddenly channeling the old Cary Grant movie, Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House.But, hey, ham (or WHAM) with waffles sounds tasty….
Grace – I like the old jingle contests a lot, they must have been fun. What did you win?Eric – Those are all prize-winners,, I think!Katherine – That's a good one, too (and very true, I am sure).Tori – Or Spork! That is Canadian SPAM, and it was quite delightful, just about as much as you'd expect.
Frozen Downyflake 1-Minute WafflesWith homemakers really do rateWonderfully tasty, so simple to serve….So good, you'll want to mate!
Erin – That's a winner all right!