A Merry Little Cleanser

Have yourself a merry little Cleanser
Let your grout be white!
From now on
We’ll use a lot of Seismotite.

Have yourself a can of Old Dutch Cleanser
Those tiles sure look gray;
From now on
You ought to clean them once a day -

Here we are, kneeling by the tub
Wondering why we scrub,
What for?
Old Dutch sure is a gritty mess
Like my housedress and
This floor -

Someday soon I’ll take a break from cleaning
If the grates allow
Until then I’ll Seismotite this joint somehow

And have myself
A merry little Cleanser now.

From Life, December 4, 1939. And by the way, I really, really want to send away for that Exquisitely Designed Cake Plate. But you need SIX Old Dutch labels. That is a little much, Old Dutch. Oh, and one other tiny problem is that it the offer expired 70 years ago…But you can still check it out over here at the big version.

The real actual lyrics to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” are here; and the classic clip of Judy Garland singing the song in Meet Me In St. Louis is here.

And what in the world is seismotite? Aside from being a retro adword that I love, it was a pumice that was supposed to not scratch up your tiles and tubs and things. The Old Dutch Coin Test, which starred seismotite, is explained over here at Old Time.

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18 Responses to A Merry Little Cleanser

  1. Haha, singing about cleaning! I only get that excited when I mop marble tiles (I like mopping).Thanks for the seismotite knowledge, I had no idea. Seems like it would be kind of 'earth-quakey'.

  2. I usually cry when I clean, but I'll try to sing this next time I'm sweeping up the dust bunnies.

  3. I'd like to know why a cleaning product is giving away a cake plate….

  4. Eric – It does have a little goofy earthquakey vibe, which is part of why I like the word so much. Elise – I whine while I clean!Tori – That's a very good question…It does seem very odd, now that I am actually thinking about it.

  5. Thank you! I've learned a new word today!

  6. Richard – And it's such a fun word too!

  7. Love the post, and the song.

  8. I often wish I could order the products they used to advertise. The curse of being born too late!

  9. Ann – Thanks :) Amanda – I know, I am just looking through some old Life magazines and – I want so many things that they advertise!

  10. I just love that word! 'Seismotite' I can just hear Lucile Ball saying that, like Vitometer Vegimite. Not sure I wrote that correctly :)

  11. I despise having to clean. I do it for a living so I always hate it when I have to do it at home. This was a cool post. I'll have to try singing the next time I clean. lolGlad you liked all those album covers in my post at the Dino Lounge. They definitely don't make covers like that anymore.

  12. Babs – You're right, it is totally a Lucy word!Keith – I hate cleaning just because. No special reason. I think it is genetically encoded, actually, my mom didn't like it either ;)

  13. Santa better not leave me a case of Old Dutch Cleanser under the tree! I wouldn't mind some of those cake plates though. :)

  14. Hairball – Maybe he could just use the Old Dutch himself and get you the cake plates!

  15. The green tiles with white grout in my 50's bathroom are looking a little grungy but since I'm sick of Christmas songs already, I'll be singing "baby everything is alright, uptight, clean seismotite". Maybe it will make me forget about my aching back while I'm hunched over the tub.Thanks for the idea and new word.

  16. Mid Century Madam – If I have to hear "Little Drummer Boy" one more time in a store – or that Bruce Springsteen Christmas song, I am blocking on the name of it – I will scream! I thought Seismotite would work with a lo of Christmas songs because it rhymes with night, white, bright – I wonder if I could work it into another song? And then – everyone who reads me would be screaming, I'll bet.So, maybe not ;)

  17. Oh how I do hate cleaning…but this post is hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

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