Scotch This

How Your Kids Can Have A Happier Halloween:

1. Use an excessive amount of shiny Scotch tape on Halloween mask.

2. Forget to attach an elastic cord to mask. Attempt to Scotch tape mask to head. Give up, removing tape (and some of your hair). Spend the evening holding it up to your face instead.

3. Realize that if you have to hold the mask like this, you won’t actually be able to hold a candy bag.

4. Further realize that even if you could use one hand to hold a candy bag, the other hand would not be able to hold large mask up to adequately cover face.

5. Now start to worry about how cats probably do not go around wearing blue and white polka-dotted shirts. This is what happens when you spend all your time Scotch taping together a fancy mask. But at least you did manage to make a cat tail.

6. However: tail is stuck on with last few bits of linty tape (having used it all on the mask). Worry about efficacy of Scotch tape holding cat tail to the back of your pants.

[From Life, October 20, 1961. Scotch is a slang term meaning to put an end to something, as in scotching a rumor - aside from its being a synonym for Scottish, somewhat disliked by the Scottish.]

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15 thoughts on “Scotch This

  1. THANK YOU! for noting that Scottish people don't like being referred to as "Scotch." I am a Scottish person, and we like "Scot." Or "Scottish person."That is one crappy looking cat mask. I think it's the tongue. Yes, that tongue is disturbing.

  2. Needless To Say – It has a home-movie vibe to it for sure.JD – I am part Scottish (Dumfries area) so my mother made sure I was up on this sort of thing. I was going to explain all about this and about Scotch-Irish etc and then I got tired all of a sudden and said to myself: this ain't the Virtual Dime Museum, you know. So I didn't.heidi – It's a fun ad! :)kath – I can never understand what the ad perpetrators were thinking. Which does make it quite entertaining.

  3. If the little blighter doesn't realise the health advantages of having to use his/her hands to hold the mask in place (i.e. no hands free for candy, therefore less sugar in the diet), you could always buy another roll of tape to bind the mask to the child's head.You know, it's probably a good thing I'm not a parent.

  4. Forget trick-or-treat bags. Instead, tape each candy onto the kid's body. I envision a process whereby the house mistress, instead of dropping candy corns into a plastic orange pumpkin caddy, Scotch tapes each molded sugar-corn onto each tape-masked child. No muss, no fuss. Advertising, get on this!P.L. Frederick (Small & Big)

  5. The Bewildered Brit – Why did this not occur to the Scotch tape people? The only problem would be for the parents trying to get all that tape off of the children (which would not encourage them to buy more, in the end)Amy – Yes, this is from the early 60s. I started trick or treating about 1966, I think, so perhaps this is why I missed the tape experience…P.L. – We must tell the Scotch tape ad people at once! ;)

  6. Lidian — it's the same in England and Scotland (and Wales, and Northern Ireland too!): you can call it 'sellotape', 'sticky tape' or just 'tape'.'Sellotape' is the most common where I'm from in the south of England.

  7. Richard – My husband calls it sellotape or sticky tape, I believe (I will have to get him to say it for me, we haven't talked about it lately)- he is also from the south of England.

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