And a Happy Sexist Halloween to you too, from Popular Mechanics in 1957!
If you are a little boy, you can be a cowboy with a horse and a gun. The horse looks like the top of a boudoir vanity table with a broom and a horse’s head stuck at either end, but never mind. At least you aren’t a girl.
Because if you are a girl you are going be – a bird stuck in a “gilded” cage! You can wear a scratchy, itchy, ugly bird head, but the rest of you is all party dress and mary janes. What kind of bird is that supposed to be?
And if that wasn’t humiliating enough, you also get to carry your own personal prison cell around with you all night.
Also, you won’t be able to eat your jelly bean “bird seeds.” Not with that big bird head on. But, as the charming gentlemen at Popular Mechanics point out, at least the other guests can enjoy them.
Great. You’re stuck in a cage, wearing a ridiculous hot uncomfortable bird head, and all you can do is watch all the other kids scarf down your candy.
Aren’t you glad you’re a girl?
The big version is here, if you want to see all the annoying text, and how to make that cage out of curtain rings, dowels and a wash basin.