Well, gentlemen, our next ad account is from the Scot Paper Company. No, I don’t know where the other ‘t’ in Scott went. We need a paper-towel ad concept and I think I have something really good. Something that will really sell those paper towels!
Imagine this: an ad starring that well-known boxing champion, Abraham Lincoln. Because he liked to clean up his own spills – he was a man of the people! When he was at his desk in the Oval Office, having a burger for lunch, he’d wipe up the mustard he got on the desk. With Scot Paper Towels, in fact. True story.
And here’s the best part of having Lincoln sell paper towels: he’ll be made out of wet, soggy paper towels.
And we’ll call him Mr. Thirsty Fibre – that’s a tough-sounding name. We’ll spell ‘fibre’ the British way to really emphasize that this is just a good old American tough-yet-soft paper towel.
Oh, and when you make Mr. Abraham Thirsty Fibre? Make one of his coattails look like a horse’s tail, will you? And be sure his pants are a little bit short. I believe the technical term for this is – wait for it – floodwater pants.
[This delightfully loopy 1940 ad is from Duke University's Medicine and Madison Avenue collection.]