Cheer up, Wranglers! There are groovy gifts and date ideas in store for you today.
Welcome to the Meme-Inspired Randomness, Part 2 – otherwise known as more fabulous advice from that 1960s Movie-Review Pundit, Rex Reed. He would like you to take note of how to be Hip when you give a guy a present. This is the sort of thing that Hip Guys like, apparently:
Hip Gifts To Give A Man
1. Art Nouveau jelly beans (“$5 a pound at Henri Bendel”) [I think they are just multi-colored. Do they taste like Tiffany stained glass? Maybe they make you want to draw fancy motifs on everything.]
2. Fig leaf bathing suit [If only I could find an ad for this...Oh wait, here's one from 1998! Note the stunned, confused look on the "genius" who supposedly invented these things - but we know better, don't we?]
3. Old-world globe [Sort of a palate-cleansing sorbet of boredom, after the excitement of the jelly beans and the bathing suit]
4. Gold blazer buttons [And the boring continues! Having said that, though, the Wrangler guy in the white blazer does seem to be in need of some...]
5. Electric wastebasket [This is what we now call a paper shredder. Can also double as a good name for a 60s rock band, in case you have one of those sitting around the house]
6. Have his Army boots bronzed [Actually, this might be ideal for the Wrangler guys at the left - they all look sort of bronzed, don't they? In both senses of the word.]
Unfortunately, Rex does not list what he thinks the men should be ponying up in the gift department, for the women. After that Bronzed Army Boots idea, though, perhaps it’s just as well.
Now, along with the gift-giving comes the dating. So here are some Hip ideas for dates. Oh boy, looks like I actually go on these kinds of dates, who knew things were so groovy for me? Rex’s suggestion is, of course, first; and my exciting version is in brackets:
1. Supermarket dates [Go to grocery store and push wobbly cart around; enjoy witty conversation about next week's meals; fall into Muzak-induced fugue state, stagger around store sticking who-knows-what into cart. Then discover it is not actually your cart...]
2. Going to same restaurant four nights in a row [A little restaurant also known as The Kitchen...we go there all the time! Shame about the menu, they really need a new chef...]
3. Standing room at the opera [Watch TV while cleaning living room. Then listen to radio while folding laundry. I have season tickets!]
4. Discussion of trivia on first date [This is amazing - how did Rex know? We discuss trivia 24/7! My whole life is a psychedelic phantasmagoria of hipness!]
Thank you very much, Rex, we get the idea. You can go back to your 1966 Cosmo now, and stay there. And thank you to Janet of Found In Mom’s Basement for the truly groovy 1968 Wrangler ad.
Many thanks to Heather for the Seal of Awesomeness and the Lemonade award!