Sing it, sister!
Wait – OK, just wait a minute here. Stop. Please stop singing!
I’m going to have to stop you right there. Because that rhyme – you can’t just rhyme easy with – easy. Just because Fab makes your washing less difficult does not mean you can start slacking off on everything else.
Also, maybe your washing wasn’t white to begin with. What if you popped a bunch of blue towels in the wash? Having them come out white is not a plus.
And I am not sure about using Fab to wash the dishes. That’s a little strange. Clearly this lady is getting way, way too excited about the product. So let’s slow down a minute…
Above all, we need to rewrite this pop masterpiece. Apparently this must be sung to that popular tune “Pop Goes the Weasel.” Which doesn’t give us a huge amount of creative scope, but we’ll do our best. Even though the word Fab always reminds me of A Hard Day’s Night and the Beatles saying “gear, fab!” all the time (which meant, of course, that they were well and truly pleased – just like this pop-eyed laundry lady).
I really hate to do the wash
So dull and soul-destroying!
But when I use a jigger of Fab
It’s not that annoying.
Well, maybe. Let’s try again:
Don’t stick blue towels into your machine
And then put lots of Fab in,
‘Cause then you’ll get a lousy surprise,
And you’ll be crabbin’.
Um, ma’am? You can stop singing now…Thank you. And don’t call us, we’ll call you.