So you’ve got yourself a nifty car horn that wolf-whistles and hoots at female pedestrians, and upsets the other drivers. Good! That’s a fine start.
This is the next level of automobile fun. It is REAL FUN, not just tapping on a silly old horn. You see, first you get them mad with the horn. Then when they get out of their cars, or off the front porch, to come and confront you – oh boy! They will get a “HARMLESS, but VERY EFFECTIVE shock.”
And when they come back that night to key your car, or put rotten tomatoes all over it – they’ll get a follow-up surprise! Another shock! They will get such a good laugh out of it, too. Why, I can only imagine how popular you are going to be. This is well worth ten dollars (the equivalent of a week’s worth of groceries back then, I believe).
And when you touch bumpers with your “buddie’s” car, he won’t be able to get in his car either. Very soon, he will be your “ex-buddie.” He will be buddies with all your neighbors instead. And then that’s when you had better start thinking about moving away and going to a new town where they “can take a joke.” Wherever that is. Just don’t go to New York and try this, that’s all I’m saying.
In yesterday’s comments, Da Old Man and Me-Me King mentioned that they had (respectively) owned or knew of an owner of the Wolf-Whistle Horn (you were probably kidding, Da Old Man, right? Right?). Likewise, if anyone really knew someone who owned the Auto-Shocko, we all want to know!
A thousand thanks to Heather, who sent me this ad. She just wrote a fabulous post on vintage ads, so so funny – I recommend that you go visit her right about now and read it.