Menswear Haiku

This guy looks quite sad.
Freedman may make guys look good.
Comfortable? No.

Look at him gesture:
Is he making brilliant points?
I do not think so.

Freedman wants to say:
Men look very very good
In these boring suits.

I say Freedman seems
Very insecure because
Too many verys.

Sir, why do you stand
Behind a box of strange height
Looking so depressed?

Unlucky yes-man
Stuffed into scratchy garments
Aims for debonair:

Alas, he just looks
As if large Canada geese
Nip at him unseen.

About these ads

17 thoughts on “Menswear Haiku

  1. I keep looking at this ad in disbelief. It’s terrible! Who is going to look at this photo and think “Gee, I want to be that guy!”I think they snapped the picture just as he held his hand out while saying “I demand payment up front for appearing in this crappy ad.”

  2. Tori – He looks like a well-fed Johnny Carson, yes, now that you mention it!Bill – That’s just what I loved about it, the expression on his face totally contradicts the copy.RE – Probably! :)

  3. Michele – I think we can all agree that he looks ill at ease, anyway (which is nothing like Johnny, is it?). And thank you! :)Goddess – That box is very confounding, yes.Shay – The guests clearly took their toll, in that case…I wonder who they were?

  4. That was my first thought, Johnny Carson. What a horrible picture, I can’t imagine it sold very many suits. I would think if you wore one you would turn into a zombie.

  5. Add me to the Johnny Carson column. Or a wax statue of him. But I don’t think he really looks ill at ease. It’s the Skinner’s Raisin Bran is all. Thar she blows.

  6. Max – It’s quite a story we can make out of this week’s ads, isn’t it? As Woody Allen says in Annie Hall, we can develop it into an idea, and then a concept, and then make it into a movie (or something like that).

  7. Perhaps. A bit disjointed. Abstract. But then so is Woody. It would be a better story if you would let us include the snake charmers and the magicians and such into the Raisin bran and blinking bow tie mix. Just my opinion. :)

  8. VicarEzra – You know, I was just pondering the future and thinking what it would be like to combine Virtual Etc. and Kitchen Whatsit. If I ever did, I would probably combine stories in the way that you suggest. Then I could call it Artistic and edgy, which would be quite good fun.

  9. It's a young Johnny Carson. He's just told a really boring joke and now the audience is booing at him…can he run from the imminent shower of rotten fruit? No, because he's standing in a paper box and his suit is so tight and fitted that even if he could lift a leg out of the box he'd rip a vital seam in his trousers…so he's not going anywhere…he's going to stand there and take it like a man…in a cheap suit.

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