Theda Bara would have had second thoughts about vamping in A Fool There Was in 1915, if only she’d been able to look into the future and see this 1929 ad. “On second thought…don’t kiss me, my fool!”
Actually, the model looks like me trying to figure out which chapter I’m working on in NaNoWriMo. Well, minus the cold. I don’t have a cold. But just mentally substitute a Bic pen for the thermometer and it’s spot on.
Anyway, the Listerine people are not interested in flattering their potential customers, now, are they? You fools! Blind, ignorant, willful and germ-laden fools! Yeah, you. And stay over there, over by the radiator, no one has any interest in catching what you’ve got.
If only you’d taken their advice. Like washing your hands in Listerine. Oh, and gargling with it too. And it really wouldn’t have hurt to put it in the tuna casserole either, would it? You just weren’t thinking, you mad impetuous dancing flapper of a fool – hanging around those germ-filled speakeasies all night!
If only you had stayed home rinsing and washing and gargling and pouring. Then Listerine “might have spared you”! It might have – if it deemed you worthy.
Never mind – there’ll be plenty of time to repent while you’re in quarantine in the back bedroom, missy!
Oh, but before you go – don’t forget to tell your husband about Listerine Shaving Cream! He’ll like that. He can keep his chin from catching a cold.
Advertisement from 1929 – via the Duke University Medicine and Madison Avenue collection. In the full-size version in the link you can see all the splendid gargling and shaving cream advice up close and personal.