When it’s 1951 and you’re the eternal star of The Constant Bridesmaid, it’s time for Drastic Measures.
That smirking bride thinks she’s the Queen of the May – just because she doesn’t have any zits. She’s been making her supposed best friend run errand after errand. Boring her with long stories about the sweet things Albert does for her. What he says about her complexion. The presents he’s shelling out.
And after all that, when it’s photo time, she tells Alice to stand back in the deep background. Smile for the birdie, everyone.
Alice is tired of those shadows. Look at her, you can just tell. And soon, thanks to Camay, the Soap of Beautiful Women, her fiendish masterplan will be implemented. She will use that Camay somehow – somehow – to overthrow the bridal monarchy.
And then she will be triumphant. She will be the one wearing that veil with the strange butterfly thingies over her ears.