Remains Of The Tray

I am having some trouble with this 1960 ad on a number of levels. For starters, I know this is supposed to be a Hot Tray but they way they spell it with only one ‘t’ it looks like  Ho Tray or Hot Ray – neither of which sounds all that appealing.

This woman has a smile that would terrify a wolf – surely she is not the sort to keep a Ho Tray around the house. Right?

And that ghostly staff behind her!  They are all so elderly, too. Are they Edwardian great-house servants who, through some bizarre time-travel mishap, are being punished by having to work for this evil matron?

Or did they emanate from the Ho Tray, like Jeannie from her TV bottle? That would make a great sitcom – I Dream Of Hot Ray.

But which one is Ray? Maybe he’s still in the tray. Nobody else looks very – er, hot. Do they?

Also Benny Hill appears to be the chef. And he seems to be leering at the grande dame. I’m not certain what’s going on there. She doesn’t really look like his type, does she?

If Benny makes any of the kind of jokes he used to make on his show, he’s going to get that plateful of dinner right in the face!

After that, maybe Hot Ray could sing. He just sounds like a retro lounge lizard – a suburban Dean Martin clone with a martini and a microphone. And that will make the evening really gracious and charming.

The Grumble Seat

This may be more of a Monday post but hey, Tuesday can be like Monday Redux some weeks. You aren’t that much closer to the weekend, are you?

And what if canned asparagus is on the menu on a Tuesday? You’ll be grumbling on a Tuesday all right.

I’ll be in the grumble seat then. I hate veggies in cans. Hate them! Used to sit in front of canned green beans, refusing to eat them, as a kid. Ah, 1968. College students were having sit-ins up at Columbia, taking over Low Library. I was just a taxi ride away from them, having the first-grader’s version of the Revolution. Hell no, that’s got to go!

And so does this canned asparagus. Just take a look at it! It looks like something Jacques Cousteau met on the way down to the ocean floor. Are they absolutely sure this isn’t something called sea asparagus? Is there even such a thing? I know there’s sea cucumbers. Hey, maybe we can make a salad!

Oh, for heaven’s sake, lady, I’m kidding! Please, please don’t make a salad.

And what in holy hell is the garnish on the bottom picture? No, don’t tell me. You know, I’m kind of full from lunch…I think maybe I’ll skip dinner.

Because if that’s what we’re having, it won’t be technically the grumble seat, it will be something far more – digestively…revolutionary.

And look at the expression on her face. I think maybe she already tried some in the kitchen.

The tagline below reads “The world’s most popular salad and vegetable delicacy.”  I think that’s probably what my mother said about the canned beans.