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No Can Do
Posted by Lidian on September 5, 2008
Poppy Cannon (nee Lillian Gruskin) was a food editor at the Ladies’ Home Journal and House Beautiful who also wrote a few cookbooks, including this one – behold, The Can Opener Cookbook!
You’ll be relieved to know that of course Poppy does not wish us to saute our can openers, but to open up the wonderful array of cans we have got on our shelves and voila! Gourmet dishes aplenty!
She asks: Have you a chafing dish? a crepe suzette pan? a cut-glass punch bowl? [No ma'am...not really, no. My mother had a cut-glass punch bowl but it is in storage. Not here in my house. I guess that's a no.]
Keep them in mind when you begin to think about “what shall we have to eat?” and don’t be self-conscious about repeating your specialties or even your menus. [Oh, believe you me - I am not self-conscious about repeating my - specialties. Not even an 'OMG, not this again' can deter me when it's 5pm and I am desperate.]
You see, if you put canned things in fancy dishes – and sprinkle them with toasted almonds or India relish (or both! why not both!) – they will be gourmet. And delicious!
Here is one of Poppy’s gourmet recipes, featuring our old friend, Underwood’s Devilled Ham Spread. Because this is well after the war, and you don’t need to spread it thin. Glop it on, discerning diners!
That’s “crock” just above, not “croc” by the way – you’ll be glad to know.
I thought that Smithfield hams came in one piece in their cans, and Poppy never explains what you would do with a whole ham. I know, I know, you’re supposed to grind it up. But she ought to say so.
And just look at the gorgeous cover! That must be one of Poppy’s gourmet menus – brought to you today by the color red! Tomato aspic ring, red punch with lemon slices, and red other stuff with pastry leaves on top. And cans of cherry pie filling and tomato sauce.
Oh, also a can of tuna and some canapes which have levitated, swami-like, just over the Westinghouse can opener.
The pink Devilled Ham glop will color-coordinate just perfectly with all of that.
Augusto said
“glop” is right.
Erica said
Convincing people that canned goods can be gourmet is one of the tragedies of the 20th century. Don’t get me wrong — they’re good enough, wonderful for time-saving, and a great way to get out-of-season foods all year round. But gourmet? NO. There’s a difference between pie filling from a can, and pie filling you made yourself. There’s a BIG difference between canned meat and real meat (such as the level of confidence about what animal was the source).
Somebody should remind Poppy that leaving a can opener and tins of food on her table might give away the secret of her cooking successes. (Although, I admit — it’d be interesting to compare enjoyment levels between a group of people served true gourmet cooking on cheap plates next to a can opener, to a group of people served can-to-dish cooking on fine china.)
Amy said
hmm sounds very very very strange…
Karla said
Well, of course! If you’d just use all those… well, useless… appliances to heat up (or further process) your canned goods, they taste better. Okay, not really. But at least you won’t feel so guilty about having a cupboard full of appliances that never get used! Or something.
Karen C. said
I know meal preparation is serious business, but I can’t stop giggling!
jan said
My mother’s home ec club put together a cookbook every year and I was always appalled at the number of recipes that started: Open a can of Campbell’s____soup…
These were all women whose children were grown, they enjoyed their homes, had leisure time and were definitely not lazy. My mother couldn’t believe I would ask why so many soup recipes. Why would a thoroughly modern woman waste time making a sauce that was already made?
Bill said
Does that jumbo electrical appliance at center stage make the cans, or just open them? Because it looks big enough to do both.
heidi said
Okay, I know that I have weird eating habits but that sounds just awful and way above my cooking skills. Love the knits in your last article. This is the neatest blog!
Rochelle said
Somehow deviled ham came up in a conversation with my son-in-law a few weeks ago and he said he takes a deviled ham (from the tiny cans) sandwich to work with him everyday. I know my jaw must have dropped and he probably wondered why I had such a look on my face. He was 39 when they got married so maybe this is a holdover from his bachelor days.
Lynne said
Oh my! If I didn’t repeat my menus on a very regular basis, we’d have nothing to eat around this house!
Shay said
I have her “New, NEW Can-opener Cookbook.” It’s truly, truly awful.
emjoi said
So you mix in six tablespoons of marg or butter just to make the canned meat extra lardy. Yum.
Recipe:
1 can of Chilli beef.
1 can of Spaghetti and Meatballs.
Glop into one big plastic bowl.
Pour on some ketchup.
Sprinkle with cheese.
Mix it up with whatever utensil is in the sink still waiting to be washed.
Chuck into the microwave until bubbling and spitting meat sauce about the enclosure.
Pour onto toast (wholemeal, to be healthy).
Eat while watching some Vin Diesel DVD, and drinking directly from a 2 litre bottle of Coke, or whatever else happens to be in the fridge.
Gourmet living.
emjoi said
PS, I love the color used in these 1950’s images.
The Red they use makes everything look like beetroot.
Beetroot punch, beetroot jelly… mmm hmm.
Lois said
Poppy Cannon?? Omg, that sounds like a porno name!
Um, not that I would know about such things….