How do they figure the probability of that? People in real life don’t burst into song (or rhyming verse) – well, not really for any reason. But certainly not because they have a little tube of pretend Vaseline on hand.
Wouldn’t that be a pain, to live with any of these people? They’d be bursting into song at 7 am because they had a bowl of cornflakes in front of them. Or because of the beauteous natural world out in the backyard. The sun shining, the birds making a racket. You know.
You know what we have out back in the morning? A squirrel who stores all his stale kaiser rolls up in the roof overhang of the back porch. Then he goes and sits on the fence and gnaws on a piece of kaiser roll.
Meanwhile there are similar things going on at the table. The bread is less stale, though. And we don’t burst into song, naturally.
Anyway – Glymiel Jelly. Use it and you will have fun, they say. But being out in the wind and dust and sun – I don’t see any pleasure in that. It sounds terrible, I don’t care how soft and smooth my hands might be.
How about we all stay far away from the wind and dust and sun, hire a gardener, and sit on the back porch with a lemonade? Now that could be fun.
And even if you’re just sitting out there, Glymiel would still make you so happy that you too will be reciting little poems all day long.
On the subway, in the deli,
When watching garbage on the telly,
Or while digesting vermicelli
Treat your hands to Glymiel Jelly!
Just don’t start up before people have had their coffee, that’s all.