Dearth Of A Salesman

This ad reads: “It’s greetings like this that make Dad, a salesman, realize just how much he misses his family while he’s on the road.”

Yes, and how materialistic his kids are turning out to be, too. How about “Yay, Daddy, you’re home, we missed you!” Asking how he is doing is good, too, dear little children. Not, “Did you bring us a present?” Well, at least not right away. It muddies the water, you see; makes your priorities seem a little – off. Are we all clear on this? Oh, good.

Mother looks pleased but she seems to be staring off into the middle distance. Wonder what’s up there. One hand is raised – is she about to tell the kids off for being so obviously greedy? Or is she going to ask whether he remembered to pick up milk on the way home?

Poor old Biff (who has a Jimmy Stewart look about him) probably hasn’t quite processed this yet. But Jimmy Stewart wouldn’t stand for this sort of thing, would he? “Well now, aah, wait a minute, there, kids – gee Mary, can’t you get the kids to say hello first?” Too bad he doesn’t have Harvey the rabbit with him. Harvey would teach ‘em all some manners.

But at least he has an Industrial Acceptance Plan, which enables him to have the car. He’ll probably be heading out to Woolworth’s for some trinkets pretty soon now.

Happy Father’s Day, by the way, to you all – and may the dads be on the receiving end of things today! I’d like to see the follow-up to this ad, where Biff/Jimmy is asking the kiddiewinkies, “Say, whatcha got me for Father’s Day?” I trust they will pony up some clay ashtrays they made in school, at the very least.

Ad from the Toronto Telegram (newspaper), 1954.