Chewing Gum and Fringed Napkins

Happy Saturday! Here is some lovely etiquette advice from a book called Good Manners (1878).

There is a right way and a wrong way to excuse yourself from the room. I used to think that you just said ‘excuse me,’ or ‘I’ll be right back,’ and people could infer from this where you were going (if they really, really wanted to). But apparently there is more to it than that: 

A lady may say  “I must ask to be excused, as an engagement for the evening necessitates a change of toilette.” She does not speak of “washing her hands,” nor refer to medical treatment which she may be taking, save to her intimates.

Medical treatment? Even your friends really might not want the full dissertation every time you get up to go to the ladies’ room, I would think.

Now if the “medical treatment” involves chewing-gum, you can go off and do that. Explanations for friends only, of course:

If chewing gum be used by advice of a physician, we would recommend that it be resorted to beyond the vision of spectators.

The spectators, if they are staying on for dinner (undismayed by all that gum-snapping), will not mind eating up the leftovers, probably:

A lady need not hesitate to offer what she calls a “made-over” dish to an unexpected guest, prvided it be excellent and dainty. Made dishes are much appreciated when well prepared.

Translation: Just remember to take the tuna casserole out of the Tupperware. And, finally,  make sure your napkins are plain:

Fringed table-napkins may be used for breakfast or luncheon, but they are not considered suitable for dinner.

Leftover casserole and paper napkins (they don’t have fringe on them!) it is then. And maybe, if it’s a small gathering of what Good Manners calls “intimates,” you can pass around a package of Juicy Fruit for dessert.

Image from NYPL Digital Gallery, of “Evening Toilettes” circa 1884.