Wedgies and Whuffins

More fun from the Betty Crocker Boys and Girls Cook Book (circa 1960). Boys and girls, how about a wedgie?…No, no, not that kind! Stop that at once, please settle down. Betty is only talking about cabbage.

You couldn’t make this kind of thing up, could you? As Thomas Hardy said once (I think it was him, I am way too tired to look it up. And I have the horrid feeling that I already quoted this somewhere in this very blog. If so, please disregard!)  -”truth is stranger than fiction.”

Certainly nothing is stranger that a Cabbage Wedgie. Not a wedge, mind you. Because just hacking up a cabbage and serving it in wedges is not fun and perky enough!

The reference to Whuffins is rather startling after the Wedgies, it was to me anyway. So I looked them up. They are muffins, you see, with a few shovelfuls of Wheaties in them.

I really think Betty was in a wild and crazy mood the day she wrote that page, don’t you?

The Elbow Macaroni Gourmet

Sorry, Ann, but I am looking at this main course – and it doesn’t “look expensive.” I’ll be willing to bet that it doesn’t “taste expensive” either. Just throwing a few shrimp onto something does not magically transform it into a culinary masterpiece. And calling it “Macaroni Continental”? Full marks for trying, but – no. Just no.

And if the main ingredient has the descriptive word “elbow” in it, it isn’t gourmet – or continental (unless she means continental as in North America, I guess).

I’m picturing the farm help around the big kitchen table when Ann talks about the macaroni serving “eight big eaters.” With their elbows on the table. Oh well, they probably didn’t want to go to “21″ tonight anyway.

Which reminds me of the I Love Lucy episode we were watching last night, where the Ricardos and the Mertzes take a break from marriage because they are “in a rut.” Lucy and Ethel are trying to make Ricky and Fred jealous of all the swell times they’re having going out at night so they are pretending they’re about to go to a fancy restaurant – yawn, again. Because they’re so sophisticated. Just like this macaroni dish! (See how I tied it in! Just about.) Ethel says “We’ve been to ‘21′ four times this week – that’s 84!”

Which is how many servings of this fancy stuff you will have on your hands, if you rush out to the A&P and buy eleven boxes of macaroni – and you will have half a box leftover, as a bonus! (Because I just did a little math, and for 84 servings you will need 10 1/2 boxes, i believe).