Frisky Sours and Cocktail Soup

Dear 1965 McCall’s Cocktail-Time Cookbook,

I realize that it is possible that the author of the strangeness within is in fact the pineapple made out of Cheez Whiz and olive slices pictured on the front cover. It appears to be drinking white wine. That is always a good choice at cocktail-time.

But you know what else is a good choice? Cocktails, with alcohol in them, that’s what. Like whisky sours or vodka and tonic, honestly, you don’t need to get fancy.

I would really like to know who thought up the idea of Frisky Sours. Beef bouillon put into a cocktail shaker with crushed ice, ice water and lemon juice,  which is then shaken “until slightly foamy” (ugh) and put into an Old-Fashioned glass. This is not a pleasant pre-dinner drink. This is just too much like a nice glass of Lake Ontario, not that I know what it tastes like. The saltiness and the foam though – the foam disturbs me. A lot.

Next time you have an Old-Fashioned glass around, you might want to put – oh, I don’t know – an Old-Fashioned in it.  Jimmy (formerly of Ciro’s London) has a good recipe: soak one lump of sugar with Angostura bitters, add a lump of ice, fill the glass with rye and squeeze a lemon peel on top.

And then there’s the whole concept of the Cocktail Soup. Please, why the obsession in this book with soup and broth? Soup is soup. That is why they call it the soup course. But you suggest that I serve “a cup of conviviality” – i.e. a mug of soup – in my living room “as you might a cocktail before dinner.” To be “sipped slowly, interspersed with pleasant talk.” But if I hand around mugs full of Hawaiian Holiday Cup (which involves both tomato soup and pineapple) the talk will not be so pleasant. And as for the South Sea Soup (green pea soup and orange juice, garnished with popcorn) – believe me, after seeing that soggy popcorn floating on top, no one will feel convivial.

May I suggest a little something from the Bahamas Tropical Drink Mixers Guide (1978) by Herbert Z. Burrows, Master Mixologist. Mr. Burrows is just the sort of person we need! Here you go, this ought to do nicely:

Maynard Banana

1 oz. Dark Rum
1 oz. Southern Comfort
1/2 oz. Creme de Banane
1/2 oz lime juice
1/2 oz. simple syrup

Blend with crushed ice. Serve in 12 oz. Collins glass. Garnish with orange slice and cherry.

And with the help of David Embury’s The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks (1961), we can make some real whisky sours:

Whisky Sour

1 part Sugar Syrup
2 parts lemon juice
8 parts rye or bourbon

Just mix ‘em up, pretty much. You can add a bit of Angostura Bitters, which Embury calls “a pleasing addition,” or substitute lime juice for lemon.

Finally, you might want to think about having the Cheez Whiz Pineapple be in charge of something else besides the drinks. Perhaps it could entertain those Wheat Thins that are gathering ominously on the plate.

It is just as easy to serve a glass of wine or sherry before a meal. (Or sherry after, that’s very nice). And soup is part of the meal, or the whole meal. Like in the Seinfeld episode “The Soup” – the soup is the meal!

Here’s mud in your eye,

Lidian